My brother Sin said to me on the phone the day before I got on the plane "Naz do not be shocked... Dad is very skinny now and bold and pale".
I was nervous on the plane. I didn't know what to expect. I remembered Pema Chodron's book "Dealing with Uncertainty". My ticket was for 3 weeks, that seemed to be the only certainty about this whole trip.
Since I couldnt find an aisle seat this time, I was sitting by the window and I was flying Delta -who leaves NY earlier than Turkish Airlines- so I had some sunlight for a couple of hours. I looked out of my window the whole time as if I was searching......
Looking out I watched the land and the sea and the sunset, it was almost mesmerizing.. Then I heard God's voice, "look down, you are beautiful and you are my creation like this wonderful planet and your ego/fears/anxieties are as small as the shadow/reflection of this plane on the water, live your vastness, be the beauty"
Tears were coming down- God take my hand and guide me on this trip, I know I will never be the same
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