Back to you Yesilyurt, my childhood town...The caretaker opened to door, she is Necla, an angel..Mom walked in, I held my breath. Mom who has never missed her hair (one of her main "joie de vivre") came to me with a messy hair, grays were half way, it was long and she was wearing her sleeping gown (noon time).
I said to myself remember the books.. I have read and heard so much about dementia that I knew that eventually they slow down doing daily habits, they don't dress up, forget to bathe etc.
Big changes since November-last time I was here. I could hear my inner child who was scared, confused and angry. She wanted to yell mom"go and dress up, I don't want to see you like that, go just dissappear"
Then the door opened, Mehmet Abi(dad's assistant for 36yrs) was bringing dad home fr a screening. The shock moment came when dad walked in. He was wabbling, Mehmet Abi was supporting his body, he was skin and bones and his skin looked pale, he had lost his whole hair. The first thing I said to myself " oh my god this is not my father, this is somebody else", I was frozen, I tried breathing and held my belly.
Last time I saw dad was in November and he was fully functioning back them, radiation in January started his downhill journey
I wanted to hug him but was not able to move. He came in and sat down ,he was breathing like a carborator (lungs full), looked at me and said "welcome Nazey(that is how he calls me), you are here but I am already gone", God help me... this is when I need your help, guides help me... I mumbled " I am so happy to be here Dad, this happens to be the time for us to meet again"
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